Wednesday, 20 May 2020
My emotions are on a total roller coaster ride, I'm so happy with Orin he's such a happy entertaining little chap. Watching Sammi so overwhelmed with happiness at having him with her warms up my heart. Watching Ross trying to interact with him is wonderful... and even seeing Ziva sulking that there another kid in the house makes me smile. (she was the same with Ross - but she loves him now) I'm on a high for a bit .. and then the tears flow again. Where the hell could Isla be? How can she have just disappeared overnight? Could she have wondered to the village and been run over? Surely someone would have seen something? Could she have gone into an outbuilding and been locked in? Who doesn't go in their outbuilding for a week? (Especially as everyone knows we are looking for her) I swear my thoughts haunt me, the not knowing is worse than dealing with a loss ... I'm just devastated and I currently have no means of moving on.