My Beautiful Big Dog

Kai The Hooligan - March 08

It's the silence that gets me today, it's not been this quiet here for 4 years. How many times did I threaten to kill him if he didn't "shut the F**k up?" But I'd pay anything to hear his individual howling bark once more! Four years, that's all the time we had, but the pleasure and privilege of his company was without comparison. Actually it's 4 years to the month since he joined us at Blanik. In that time he wormed his way into the forefront of my heart, and now he has left me and broken my heart.
I guess it all started in 2007. Most of you know that my beautiful family was ripped apart in that year. Maybe with hindsight I could accept Seffe and Dexi dying three weeks apart, they were a good age but to loose Jay and Krizzie as well took me over the edge. So when I was told by Mark at a show early in 2008 that Kaiser Vom Conbhairean was for sale my brain went into overdrive. I'd seen the dog at numerous shows going back to when he was a puppy, and I had really admired the dog. After some persuasive pleading with Steve, Sharon and I went off to Zakasia to meet Kaiser, and obviously came back with him! (as if we wouldn't!) Maybe at the time my reasons for buying him were not the "right" ones for my kennel; and maybe during those first few noisy loutish months I had a tad of regret at bringing this hooligan into my home. But as we got to really know each other I guess we both fell in love! He was dedicated and loyal to me, he gave me his all and wouldn't even go in the field with Steve if I stayed in the house, he decided he was without doubt "my" dog.

The Show Dog Stood By Breeder Heather.

Typical of his breed Kai was aloof with strangers unless they came bearing toys, but there was one other person that Kai loved without question. His Aunty Shaz ... as he called her! (And he was the only one who got away with that!) Even during his last few minutes seeing Sharon lifted his mood. I'm glad they had the opportunity to say good, friends always should.
So many funny tales come to mind, he was without doubt a big clown, the joker in the pack. As a mature adult he would never start trouble, but was quite happy to finish it if it was needed. He was dismissive of the other males here, though they often tested him there was no doubt they feared him and he ruled simply by his outstanding presence.  His love of food was only slightly over shadowed by his obsession for toys and the contents of any bag. No bag was safe in his company and he's steal anything from under your nose, if it was there he always presumed it was for him. Only a few weeks ago you may recall the disappearance of 6 eggs and 3 frozen onion rings!

In His Favourite Place -Cwn Dulyn

Kai was only mated to 4 bitches, sadly there's was only one litter born. The first bitch missed, Tali as you know had a lovely litter, the third bitch reabsorbed her litter and dear Tara this year lost her full term pups due to a catalogue of events that in my opinion could have been avoided! What I would do to have one of those babies now!

Today I feel sick to the pit of my stomach, I can't imagine not ever holding him again. That huge neck and coat, those soft endearing eyes, always trusting and kind. His naughty playful nature, that spark of puppy mischievousness that never left him. How do I move on without him? How do I cook a meal in that kitchen without his interference and distraction? I don't know, but for the sake of his children and his grandchildren I do have to find the strength.

18/3/12 - Out In The Sun with his New Toy

Kai my darling I may have more to say tomorrow but for now I have to leave this, the tears hurt my eyes and I can type no more. My big beautiful dog thank you for everything you gave my, I'm heartbroken and I love you so much. Please stay with me forever and show me the way through life. Rest in peace my darling, until I'm privileged to meet you again I will always cherish my wonderful memory's of you. You were a credit to your breed and your breeder and more importantly my closest friend.
Nos Da My Awesome Dog.
You Have Been Loved

Thank you ..

....For all the condolenc messages we've received. We are totally overwhelmed by the kindness and compassion shown to us today. Thanks to Hilary for this beautiful picture

I can't get my head around this, I'm so heartbroken I just can't function. I was privileged to share a life with him I know, but 4 years just wasn't long enough. He was so special to me, I loved him so much. I feel so bitter and twisted right now. My big beautiful dog, he was awesome, huge in every way. How could anyone have not loved him? He gave me so much in such a short time.
Yesterday morning he didn't eat and was very quite, he was coughing a lot and drooling. but by the afternoon he was much brighter and we sat in the sun in the field with his toys. In the evening he actually chewed on a bone for a bit before cuddling up on the sofa to sleep.
This morning he was really low again, he had spots on his tongue, blood in his mouth and he was totally white. There was also spit with blood on it on the kitchen floor. The vets thinks that he had an infection internally and that the cancer had just gone "wild" and with no spleen to help fight it he became very ill very quickly. Sadly we had no choice
I'm walking around in a daze and all I can think is my big beautiful dog!

Bye Bye Big Man!

Kaiser Vom Conbhairean

"Kai"

 31/7/05 - 19/3/12

My beautiful big dog,

today I can not find the words.

 I feel cheated of the time I should have had left with you,
 now we all have to learn to live without you ...

RIP My beautiful big boy,
 my awesome dog!

Facing The Day

I'd been looking forward to the pups first show for months, but with everything that's going on I found it hard to face the day. Everyone was prompted not to talk/ask about Kai and I thank you all for respecting my wishes, I simply would not have coped! Mostly I enjoyed my day, but the black cloud still hung over me and I thank my friends for their continues support.
Because of Ziva's bad behaviour at Ring Craft I was really nervous in her class, which I know did not help the situation. I know It could have been worse, and I saw much worse on the day. Still please try to understand that it's heartbreaking for me to see her behave like this, this is not the puppy I live with!

Asha in her class. She was Reserve Best Bitch On The Day

I was very proud that she recieved a Breed Survey Class 1 yesterday.

That's my girl!

Mikey, didn't put a foot wrong but yesterday wasn't his day!

 Danni being assessed by the judge, she was 1st in Maiden Bitch

Little Ziva didn't too bad, but we still have a lot of work to do!

Linda Moving Lexi round for the judge.
Proud of both of you!

I have a photo of Blanik Georgia in the ring with Sharon too,

but Feel I need permission to post it here?

Shattering News

Kai's got lymphoma, they've given him 2 -3 months,
My big beautiful boy, I'm devestated!

Feed me - I'm Not Very Well!!!

Kai seems to be pulling a fast one. I think he pretends he's too ill to move and has his meals "delivered"  to his bed side .... Then someone opens the fridge door, surprising how fast the little (well big) bugger can move then!
Crap picture, sorry, but you get my point???

Latest News

One of my Favourite Photos of Kai.
Showing him as the clown he really is!

Our big man is doing quite well really, he's eating "tasties" and going to the loo Ok. He's a lot less arched in the back and moving more freely today; though obviously after such a big ordeal he's quite stiff.  I couldn't help but giggle at him last night as he insisted on cocking his leg and gradually slipped over sideways, good job I was there to catch him! Kai says It's only "girlies" who squat to weewee! Seriously the amount of weight he's lost is unbelievable, at the moment you could knock him down with a feather!
The bill is a little scary, especially with no insurance. Good thing the vets are happy for us to pay it off a bit at a time or I'd be back on street corners, and it's very quite outside Spar at this time of year...haha!!! Don't get me wrong I don't begrudge it, you can never put a price on the life of a friend.
One thing that concerns us today is that his testicles are quite swollen, I felt I had to broach the subject with the vet when she phoned to see how he was doing. She reassured me telling me not to panic and to sit on it for a few days, hope I'm not the only who saw the funny side of that!

Look who's home!

 He's very very groggy and wobbly, but our Kai's home. This morning  the vet said he couldn't come home as he hadn't eaten.Vet Mikhail wanted to wait and see if he wasn't eating because he was ill, or to quote him, "just pissed off with us!"  Steve was in town this afternoon and decided to pop in and see Kai, though he still hadn't eaten they decided he could come home as he may feel a tad better in the comfort of his own home! We could offer him anything he wanted to eat. Luckily I had some cooked liver in the fridge for training classes, and yeah he's had a couple of pieces and a small piece of cheese, but as yet nothing else takes his fancy.
Thinking his crate may be less comfortable I made him a bed with a doggy duvet and vet bed, but as you can see he had other ideas! I guess there's nothing like your own bed when your off colour!  We now have a nail biting wait for the results as we have been told the most aggressive cancer may return in months, the other hopefully will never return. If you have religion please pray for him now!

Waiting ...

Scans this morning showed that Kai has a huge mass on his spleen, all the other organs look Ok and thankfully there has not been a bleed. Because of  the abnormality in his breathing, before making any further decisions they have x.rayed his chest, it's clear. Providing the cancer is not aggressive the prognosis after removing the spleen is hopeful. They are going ahead with that now ...
I have to be honest, it's not been a shock. With his rapid weight loss and deteriorating condition I could see this coming. Still I've cried almost all morning and had hardly any sleep last night. You know there are a lot of great dogs, but very few GREAT dogs in this world, and I've had the pleasure of spending these last few years with a GREAT dog. Huge in both size and personaity, a credit to his breed and his breeder.
This waiting is killing me ......

***UPDATE***
They vets have just phoned, Kai is now waking up. His Chest and nasal passages are Ok. His spleen was extremely large and hard, it will now be sent away for analysis. I'm going to pop in later and take him a vet bed, but they said depending on how he is I may not be able to see him ...

Tomorrow...

...The pups will be 7 months old. I'm sharing this photo with you today as tomorrow I will have a lot on my mind and may otherwise forget to mark out this landmark in their lives. Getting this photo was indeed hard work with Danni getting bored and walking off several times before I got change to take the photo. I would get her back and sit her to see Ziva running off to play with her Mum or Jezi just disappearing down the field. But Patience and biscuits and we finally got it!

Danni, Jezi and Ziva

Tomorrow, yes tomorrow, I fear tomorrow! Kai is going in for his Xray's and I'm worried sick about it. I need to know what's going on but would find it easier to bury my head in the sand and not know. Though my boy has eaten, sadly there's is no doubt he's feeling pretty poorly today. He desperately wanted to come on the walk with us but literally 5 mins into the walk he stopped and sat down, he just couldn't do it. I was devastated, bawled my eyes out on Linda's shoulder as I took my 6 year old dog back and set off again with the 13 year old!
It was lovely to see him perk up when his bestest mate Sharon came to see him. A glimmer of the real Kai appeared as he set into wrecking the toy she bought him! So glad you came to see him Sharon, made his day.