Monday, 31 December 2012

Loved And Lost In 2012

Kaiser Vom Conbhairean
31.7.05 - 19.3.12

Nordau Kiri Of Blanik
01.02.99 - 24.9.12

Blanik Excentrik
21.07.03 - 15.12.12
"Those we love don't go away
They walk beside us every day
Remembrance is a golden chain
That links us till we meet again."

Painful End To The Year

A vet check today brought more sadness. Riley's lump has grown and has changed in form, it's now more nobly which is cause for concern. Further to that he's running quite a temperature which maybe explains his lack of appetite the last couple of days. This is all very confusing, we have been told today that though the needle biopsy showed no cancer cells, there is no guarantee that this is not cancer. I can't make much sense of it myself, and as I said the vets are stumped. This lump is a mystery to them and definitely affects a lymph gland, but indications are that other lymph glands seem unaffected. They are still unsure if a kidney is affected or what else it could be attached to. After much discussion on the best cause of action we all agreed to see how he goes on another week of medication, if there is no change for the better then they will open him up next week to see what is going on and if there's anything that can be done. We have been told to be prepared as cancers in young animals are usually more aggressive and at the moment the prognosis for Riley appears poor. Following all the heartache this year I can't, try as I do, I just can't stay positive. Maybe it's a way of safe guarding myself. Prepare for the worst, anything else will be a blessing.

Sunday, 30 December 2012

Louis' Memorial

I was deeply touched by the kind words on the card I received from Cibyn Vet clinic following our painful loss. I knew that Louis was capable of creating an impact and I'm proud that he touched many during his life. Jill's words were particularly heartfelt and had me in tears but others there too wrote very kind touching and personal messages.
Like he did for Kiri, Steve will be engraving a slate to place on Louis' grave and I will choose a suitable shrub in the spring: But I couldn't help but order myself a heart shaped jewel box with his photo and name on it. I had bought a couple for close friends at Xmas with their own dogs on them, not thinking that I too would now want one!!! I received this photo of the work in progress from colskeys yesterday .... I know the flash slightly distracts in the photo, but I get the idea!

Saturday, 29 December 2012

My Beautiful Girls

Last Christmas - Then There Was Four

This Year - And There's Only Two
(Sat almost in the same places!)

Giving them up was so hard, but I firmly believe it was the best decision for all four girls and three human/canine families.

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

The Master Speaks


Must get back to my party, bur looking forward to a great 2013, i promise it will be full of great new music, huge Xmas hug to you all! xxxx

Hope you've all had a lovely Xmas, mine is still going on, my house is full of my nearest and dearest, thank you for all your tweets...:)

Fadi tells me some of you have been worrying about me, but you needn't worry, I'm doing great! Feeling so much better than I was....

Hey everyone! Belated HAPPY XMAS!!! sorry you haven't heard from your favourite singing greek for so long!

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Nico's First Xmas At Blanik

I guess this time last year Xmas in a kennel passed him by.
But this Xmas, partly due to the kindness of friends he's been like a kid in a sweet shop,
 he's totally overwhelmed with the toys and treats.
Thanks to everyone who showed kindness to the "Blanik" kids again this Xmas.

Some More Blanik Xmas Pics

Kai from the "G" litter
 Max from the "E" litter
Tipzee - not bred at Blanik - But Dexi's granddaughter :)

Monday, 24 December 2012

Some Other "Blaniks" At Xmas

 TJ dressed up
Harley Visiting friends
Jake and Lexi at home
Diesel on the beach
And darling Danni still with Rudolph!
I'm not going to nag, but ...
Has anyone else got a "Blanik" photo we could add???

Week 52 ...

Dull, Damp but mild on the mountain, not the best weather for taking photos ...
but I still want to remember the day!
Asha, Mikey, Tali and Ziva in front.
Llyn Ffynhonnau in the valley behind them, but we didn't go down there today.
Nico, Finlay and Jezi
Had to fiddle with the contrast a little, best I could do!

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Belgian bully!

Nico - relaxed and happy at home
My parents came to visit yesterday, Dad was desperate for a pee and went straight to the loo .. (necessary info ..honest!!! Lol) Anyway Nico was in the living room when Dad came in, he was still in his coat and baseball type hat. As some of you know we have low doorways and you have to duck your head to come through into the living room. As Dad came in Nico freaked and dived backwards, he cowered and then slowly moved forward. Dad put his hand out over Nico's head and said "it's Ok mate," but he backed off growing and really freaking out. (Dog people will know with a nervous dog the hand should always go under the chin - sadly my dad is not a dog person) I Told dad to take his hat off and sit down and Nico came round and was friendly with him within no time. I found it such a strange response, totally OTT for a dog who minutes earlier had been jumping all over my mum. It's been a long time since he responded badly to anyone but this was the worse we've seen and it was quite upsetting to watch. There is no doubt, though there are no issues with Steve, Nico is far more comfortable with women. I wondered if Mr Belgium or someone around him wore a baseball hat and decided to ask someone who would know! Yes he does, so we have an answer to that one! (I'll be wearing mine a lot now I guess.)
Kai - would never have been pushed
The person in the know also had more information, they have since heard that Mr Belgium "Pressure Trains" his dogs. Though I've over 30 years of experience in dog training it's a term I'm not familiar with, but it doesn't leave a lot to the imagination! The description given to me of Pressure Training is basically forcing a dog all the time. Instead of encouraging them to do anything and getting reward they use pressure to make a dog do everything, the pressure being both mental and physical. If a dog's not strong in character it can destroy them. Apparently some dogs become quivering wrecks after this style of Sch training. I guess it's a testimony to his strength of character that he's able to recover so quickly and trust again .... I'm telling you Kai would have bitten the Belgian bastard!!!!! (But maybe that's what they want!)
Nico - Such a Happy boy
The more I hear about the way GSD's are treated by some of the kennels/trainers abroad the more respect I loose for them. All I can hope is that the bad trainers are in the minority and that there are people who are not afraid to name and shame!
I love the bones of this dog, without him right now my life would be extremely empty, he's the dog that's most like Louis in his ways here. 99.9% of the time he's just happy, bubbly and silly , but it's sad that something in his past still triggers such a response. Ah well like I said it's been ages since we saw anything and with love, time and compassion I'm sure he'll get over it and completely forget the horrid past!

It's Been A Week

And the pain of loss is no easier. To loose in it's self is bad enough, but to loose one so special makes it almost unbearably.
I still expect to see you in your "look out" as i come home from work, I hope to hear your individual squeal as I come out of the van; but the silence is painfully deafening and sadly my eyes never deceive me. Though there's always a greeting there's no one insisting on cuddles before I have a chance to go to the loo, no muddy paw marks on my back and no teeth clamping on to my arm. Meal times are back to basics and walks are lacking your charisma and spark. Though your name has been removed I regularly look over to your bed, but your never there. Logically I know that you won't be, but sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and I still expect to see you there.
I had known for a long time that we were living on borrowed time, and I enjoyed ever minute of that time that we spent together. Yes, I knew it was close, but still feel at the end that you were stolen from me too quickly. I thought I was prepared, but found myself more unprepared for the loss than ever! Three beautiful members of my family stolen in one year, one was too many, three has ripped out my heart.
The house is still full of life, goofy boys, naughty young girls and fat cats pulling the Xmas tree down; but to loose such a huge presence leaves an enormous void in our lives and somehow it's hard to move on.
I see you as clear as day in my mind, and love you as much as I did when I could hold you in my arms. But god I miss your physical presence in my life, I miss you so much I can't contain the hurt. My darling Louis I loved/love everything about you, you were always the "one" for me. Your love of life, gentle kind nature, charisma and charm were unequalled ... and your striking good looks were unquestioned. RIP my darling ... Until we meet again I'll be thinking of you.
Thanks to the lovely friends who again respected my wishes. Thanks for the messages, cards and flowers. They mean more than words can say!

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Finally .... I Spy

Or someone did!
I hear you were shopping at Harrods last night, hope you got me something nice!  

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Beautiful Day On The Mountain For The Kids

But without "You" our lives are still so full of sadness
Asha, Mikey, Tali and Ziva
Jezi, Finlay and Nico

Monday, 17 December 2012

Riley's Results

The relief is immense ... There are no cancer cells present. Riley will be put on antibiotics and anti inflammatory's and the lump on the lymph gland reassessed in 2 weeks.... I just couldn't have coped with anymore heartache just now!

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Louis Tribute 2009

Just incase you missed this the first time round or would care to read it again ....
Click on the link in pink
This was one of the last photos I took of Louis on the mountain -9.12.12
The last photo was the group photos taken and published on the 12.12.12
Sadly I didn't take the camera on Thursday.

Saturday, 15 December 2012

A Few More Words

Like his mother and grandmother before him I was there when he came into the world. My hands were the first to touch him, hold him and caress him. I gave him his first solid meal, took him on his first walk, to his first show, gave him his first cuddle and loved him unconditionally throught out his life. Through all the experiences of his life I was there with him. He only knew love, kindness and friendship. He was born on the mountain, lived on the mountain and now has been laid to rest here on the mountain with his family. And similarly to the way he came into the world it was my hands that held him, touched him and caressed him as he left this world behind; I kissed his head, whispered quietly to him and showed him the love I have always felt for him. He has given and received great love through out his life, the same love he deserved in his passing.
 My darling Louis I knew this was coming but it's still came as a shock. On Thursday you ran with your young friends on the mountain ... and now today, your not here with us. You got so weak so quickly, we had no choice! RIP my darling friend, I pray we meet again or I'll never cope with your loss. You were my very very special friend, I truly believe you have been "The Dog" in my life time.

Mr Amazing

"Tell me, I think that cupid was in disguise
The day you walked in and changed my life
I think it's amazing,
the way that love can set you free.
So now I walk in the midday sun
I never thought that my savior would come
I think it's amazing
(George Michael)

RIP Blanik Excentrik ... LOUIS 21.7.03 - 15.12.12

Blanik Excentrik 21.7.03 - 15.12.12 ...The pain of loosing you is unbearable, but the pain of never having had the pleasure of knowing you for me is just something I can't comprehend. That's why I do it .. That's why I put myself through this time and time again. You gave me everything, you were my everything; my world, my best friend, my dog in a life time. My gentle, kind, funny friend. Not once did I regret my decision to keep the "small puppy." Despite other people's comments I always looked at the other one and knew you were the one for me, you were destine to always be my boy. You charmed me as a puppy, took my breath away as a show dog and stole my heart by simply being you.
We fought so hard for you over the last 2 years ... it was worth every moment, every penny and every bit of heartache. Louis - without you things at Blanik will never be the same for me again.
Thank you for sharing your life with me. You were My Mr Amazing - Louis -You Have Been Loved

Friday, 14 December 2012

No News

Is not necessarily good news .... it's just busy at the Idexx labs. After biting my nails all day I finally rang the vets at 4pm, they rang idexx for me and apparently they are snowed under with work. They hope to get the result to me tomorrow. As much as I dread bad news I need to know what we are dealing with now, I do need to get my head around what the future holds.... so another restless night ahead!

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

All Fours Today

Feeling mentally and physically drained, I'm not sure I was forgiven for collapsing in a heap and falling asleep after work. The kids had to make do with a run around the fields today. It doesn't go down well, but with 3 acres I guess they should be counting their blessings!
Tali, Mikey, Asha and Ziva at the front
Nico, Finlay, Jezi and Louis ..
Louis looks more little than ever. But to be fair he's sat at the bottom of the slope, and also sinking into the ground as I started to loose it with Nico and Jezi for not waiting. Not the best pair to have together when your lacking in patience! I eventually gave up and tied him to Danni's post!

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

The Clown Of The Family ..

 ... and I guess one of the brightest I ever did meet!
Blanik Deeanna,
But to us you always were "Krizzie Pup"
8.7.00 - 11.12.07
Stolen from me in that most horrendous of years,
You left your mark on future generations of Blanik Bitches
Kriz - Run Free - You Have Been Loved

Guess Who?

It's Blanik Ewan or Gelert to his friends. (Louis' brother) Considering everything I was quite choked to see him, it feels like it's been a hell of a long time. The boy was looking wonderful. Thanks to Janet and Ivan for bringing him to see me , today of all days it's kind of special. It's five years today since we lost Krizzie, his beautiful mother.
One of my favourite parts of breeding is keeping in touch and getting to see the dogs throughout their lives ....
Gelert you are a credit to your breed, your mummy Krizzie, your daddy Jay and your wonderful owners! Hope to see you again very soon!

Monday, 10 December 2012

Patchwork Quilt

Riley - I'm Home
Oliver and Ziva investigating the unfamiliar smells
What a shit of a long day ....finally he's home and he doesn't really know what all the fuss is about!! His results will be through before Friday. But at least we found out today that he tested negative for FIV and FeLV which could have been an added complication. Bless him he looks a little like a patchwork quilt. Shaved leg, neck and belly. If you are religious, please pray for my adorable little baby cat.
I fell apart at the vets again, just can't stop crying these days; The loss of Kai and Kiri, Louis being ill, the upset at work and now this. When will it end? Even going to a works party has left me doubting my importance in life and to the people around me, put it this way I've just discovered I must be easily forgotten....moving on ....
2007 was the worst year of my life. In the earlier part of the year (March) Steve suffered an episode of anaphylactic shock and nealy died. He spent weeks recovering had memory loss and even developed a stammer. Then in June we lost Dexi, 3 weeks later in July his litter sister Seffe just collapsed and died. (Ok they were oldies, but it still kills you) In August we lost 6 yr old Jay to bowel cancer and in December 8 yr old Krizzie died when a tumour on her liver burst. I though nothing could compare .. 2012 is getting close!!!
Riley's on my lap as I type, depending on "ifs" and "buts" decisions have been made about his future. Now all i can do is hope that life hasn't decided to punish me any more this year and hope this time next week we'll be looking back with great relief ......

More Heartache

Riley has an abnormality of a lymph gland, they are doing a needle biopsy and he's then coming home to be spoilt rotten whilst we wait for results. They are also going to do FIV and FeLV tests to rule out any further complications. We knew something wasn't right with him... hence the vet appointment. Worse case scenario is Lymphoma ... and we've been there once before this year with Kai. I'm distraught!

Sunday, 9 December 2012

Somehow He Keeps Going

But I'm not going to bury my head in the sand ...
 I'm enjoying every day as much as I can
With Nico and Jezi ...
I'm sure these two give him a boost
And that bloody Banana!