Monday 21 September 2015

Those Last 2 Weeks - Part 1

I guess to help me through the dark days I write this blog, there couldn't have been much darker than the last few weeks and I was unable to write. But now it all haunts me, I don't sleep at night it all just goes round and round in my head, what was said, by whom and where. The errors and decisions that could have caused me my life, so we'll start with Consultant Farah's words, and then we'll go back to Anglesey C.S show on the last Saturday in August and break the events down to what I find manageable pieces!!!!

"30% of people die at the first bleed,
 of those who survive and are not treated, 
50% will die within a month.
Between day 4 and 7 you are at serious risk of another bleed with disastrous consistences.
95% of people survive the operation, the others 5% do not,
Now what do you want to do?"

Anglesey C.S Show
Everything was all so "normal." Gail and I arrived at the show, we parked next to Paula causing double GSD barking level of noise. Went in, saw friends, cuddled Bella and then got Loki in to the hall. I did call someone by the wrong name, I called Carly, Kirstie. I've known both since they were kids, they look nothing alike and I've never done it before. Was it significant? Hell I don't know! 
Still feeling fine I took Loki into his class, he was second out of three with his sister Bella taking first place. I ran out and got Sammi from Gail and went into the ring. My thoughts were so clear, as ever I had my rose tinted glasses on and in my eye Sammi was easily the class winner. I was lucky the judge agreed with me. 
As they called in the other class winners to compete against Sammi for BOB I looked round for Ian and Bella .. calling him into the ring I thought ... "Ooo I've got a headache coming, that's nasty!" Still I continued and as Sammi was presented with BOB I couldn't get out of the hall quick enough. The headache spreading over my head and into the back of my neck making me feel like I had a stiff neck. Within no time I was sweating profusely and vomiting. (and apparently I was the colour of death!) I have never got so ill so quickly, but still the severity of the situation did not dawn on me and I got Gail to bring me home! 
Meanwhile the show continued and I was over the moon to hear our little Bella had gone BPIS, but gutted to have missed it all. To see Ian's face would have made my day! As the judge commented that she loved Sammi I can't help but wonder what could have been for her!

I continued to feel really ill for the rest of the day, vomiting with an intense headache and stiff neck, taking to my bed helped somewhat but still I had horrendous spells. It was around midnight when Loki's continued barking got Steve out of bed for the third time. He could hear drunk voices singing Man United songs carrying from the village, now my pain was beyond belief and I asked Steve to ring NHS helpline. They suggested we go to A&E .. Now! With hindsight this was a mistake as we waited for 4 and a half hours to be seen. We should have called 999 gone by ambulance and been seen instantly. But here the triage nurse was also very lax, I now know a patient presenting with my symptoms should have been prioritised and seen instantly!!!