Yesterday's Walks

Sadly I'm not going today. I'm here nursing a very sore mouth after having 2 roots and a tooth out. Not a pleasant experience and I'm not afraid to admit I cried, but I do hope it will help with the headaches and earache.

Blanik Jeevana

We haven't had an updated photo of Kaiah in ages, hard to believe she'll be 7 this year.

She still looks super, though she has the slightly richer colour her daughter has the glamour of more profuse feathering and knickers. Put the two against each other in the ring, hmmm .. that would be a hard one!

Blanik Liszka

 

I absolutely love these photos of a 2-year-old Siska. It's so hard to pick between the stance photos, her overline, head and neck are more pleasing in the first one, but her front is not set correctly and that is very distracting, if only I was clever enough with photoshop to straighten them. lol  The second photo is absolutely lovely, but I do prefer the overline from the tip of her ears to her tail set on the first one, though her tail looks a little odd in it. So almost the perfect photo ... but not quite.

As for the headshot - well I cried - so beautiful.  

Man On The Loose

Finally, Steve was getting to meet up with his sister today. Due to ill health on both sides of the family, he hadn't seen her since last Summer. Though Jan felt guilty for not visiting, with their coughs and colds staying away was the right call. I must admit that I feel differently about his son who hasn't made the effort to visit once from the beginning of the cancer treatment or during his recovery or his recovery from the heart attack. Seriously, what son doesn't visit his father during such serious health issues? (and yes Steve is feeling it) 

This morning there was no time to go walking, just time to go to the fields. I was more than peed off to find the sheep had knocked the wall down in the bottom corner of the bottom field. I managed to do a botch job with a fence panel and some wire before calling Steve down to check on it. Thankfully, he was pleased with my effort! 

During the week I'd got a new line to attach to Zeus' ball, but when I went to get hold of it to bring him back the bloody thing fell apart. How pathetic was that? Anyway we now had a loose Zeus in the field and no time to waste trying to catch him. I did try pretending we were going in the van, but he didn't fall for it, there was only one option  ... I went to get his mother! 

One Week On

Thanks to everyone who messages yesterday, it was appreciated. So much can change so quickly, can't it. Those who know me well know that for days my coping mechanism for loss is not to talk to anyone outside my immediate bubble. I'm quite happy with messenger etc but picking up the phone is just too much, though Katrina left me no choice and has phoned almost every day since the weekend. Did it help? Well once we got the first call out of the way, it certainly didn't make things worse. 

The question that's asked almost every time we lose a family member is, are the others missing them? Well I'd say no, they are quite a big family so it doesn't seem to affect them in the same way as I guess it would if one dog was left behind. I've mentioned Sammi and the van game I'm sure, at the end of a walk Sammi would run back and hide behind the van, then as her mum came into sight she'd charge her, they'd exchange words then Ziva and Sammi would run off together. Sadly now she has no one to play the game with, but for a couple of days she still ran back to hide behind the van. I found it quite heartbreaking I must admit, if only I could have explained it to her. 

If anyone is missing Ziva then it will be Sammi, they were close. There is no bond between Kaiah and Sammi, Sammi wishes we'd sold her daughter as a puppy, and she wouldn't mind if we rehomed her for free now! LOL. I guess Sammi still has a bond with Loki, but Ross decided a couple of years ago that he was her best friend, not sure how keen she is on the matter but she has no choice. Kaiah dumped Ross for a maturing Orin, so Ross moved on to Sammi. I've had two youngsters together for the last three generations, Sammi and Loki, Kaiah and Ross then Orin and Siska have all been just months apart. I've absolutely loved it, it's been very rewarding and so much fun, but they haven't stayed in pairs, they have all just blended into a family. It's been far better doing it that way than keeping siblings, and I don't intend doing that again. 

Siska is now OTT, really silly, as the bitches often are when their seasons are close. Ross and Orin both take turns to play with her, but when it becomes a threesome I usually stop it. The boys are getting on really well and I don't want anything to change that. I really want Siska to come in season now, today, but I also want her to hang on till after Crufts. The day after would be good Sisks! Focusing on something positive for the future is the distraction I need ... I'm looking forward to one day, hopefully, meeting Miss Otis and her siblings

From Niwl To Haul

 

The best photos are sometimes the "unposed" pics. This was a little to far so I've cropped it, but it was the best pic of them on the day. 

Out In The Niwl

When it's too hard to look back, and you're too afraid to look ahead... 

look beside you, we'll be there!

The visibility and drizzle got worse with every walk - but you know we enjoyed it, and it sure did blow the cobwebs away. 

Past To Present And Future

 It's been such a long time since we've had so few dogs, I can't remember the last time we had less than 8, not since maybe 2012 or even 2007. We lost three dogs between March and December 2012 and little Riley at the beginning of 2013, and 4 dogs between June and December 2007. Now we've lost 3 dogs and 1 cat in less than 12 months, throw in the loss of my Dad, Steve's cancer and heart attack and it must be our hardest 12 months on record. A friend checking up on me last night said she wouldn't have coped, but you have to don't you, there is no choice, you cope or you go under. Trust me, there's been a few days when all I've wanted to do is stay in bed, but I doubt the other Blanik family members would approve and them needing me has been my lifeline. 

Ziva arrived home yesterday afternoon, the casket is lovely but at the moment I don't know where to put it. It's very odd for us as all the others are resting in the garden, well apart from Tali. I think Ziva and Tali should go to the garden sometime soon too .. they should all be together, shouldn't they? Hell I don't know.

I was worried that Zeus would respond to the sadness here over the last week. I was wondering if I'd get the blame again, but he's been fine, his normally silly self. That previous occasion must have been to do with the injury and the stress that maybe revolved around that whole situation. To be honest even when I've cried he's taken little notice, unlike his brother who tries to give me bear hugs when he sees I'm upset.  I've never had a dog who grabs and hugs with his front paws like Orin does before.

Talking of Orin, it's 3 weeks to Crufts and he's started chucking his coat ... Why do they always do it? He has looked so stunning in full bloom, now he looks like a plucked chicken. I guess it's a good thing he carries a profuse coat and doesn't look too bad after he's lost it. Siska is almost back in full coat, I guess she will at least look good for Crufts. I'm hoping she hangs onto her season till the following week, she and Orin are playing a lot, but he's not yet given me any indication that it's imminent. I'm still hopeful that plan A falls into place and that we can at least focus on the future ...

Let's Talk About Ross

What better way to brighten a day. Even the photo makes you smile doesn't it! It's going on for 6 weeks since Ross was neutered, and yes we have seen some small changes. Give or take the odd grumble of jealousy between Orin and Ross, they are doing well. Ross has always been a jealous chap, insistent that he get the attention, and that can sometimes cause tension, though we saw role reversal today as Ian played with Ross and O got jealous. 

Ross hasn't left a single meal since he was neutered, and he has put on just that kg or two that he needed. Because of his elbow I don't want him any heavier, to be honest he now looks amazing! 

If someone asked my advice now about neutering a male dog, I'd still say the same, if it ain't broke ...  I would never neuter a nervous dog, working in rescue showed me first hand the damage that it can cause. Removing the testosterone of a nervous dog simply makes things worse, removing Ross' testosterone has made him sillier if that were possible. It has made him more juvenile in his behaviour, but it has made him less of a threat to Orin's leadership, and that was what I was hoping to achieve. I'm hoping as things settle further that these two boys can live happily together, each knowing, understanding and happy with their place in the pack.

Walking

I took the head collar off and did most of the walk on a collar. It was Ok, though I did get dragged a couple of times

Things aren't great between Kaiah and Siska on the walks. Not sure what I can do to improve things, Siska is generally being a pratt - but only in exactly the same way as Kaiah was with Sammi.

Ziva

 I wrote a short blog post about Ziva at the time of her 11 birthday, I couldn't write it any better now so if you chose to refresh your memory then click on this link ziva-one-who-stays-at-home.html 

This photo was taken on Thursday, the day that we lost her. She looks so well, but here she was recovering from the first of the fits that would terrorise her and us on the day. She'd had a single and less severe fit only 10 days earlier and I thought this was going to be the same. Within and hour the second fit came, it left her terrified and with dreadful mobility, but still I hoped for a recovery.

The third fit was something else, she seemed to be coming round and went straight into another, was that 4 fits or the third one prolonged? I don't know. When she came round poor Ziva was in such a state, she seemed to have lost her sight and for the life of me I couldn't keep her still, she banged into everything and had little control of her legs. Steve felt it was time, I was still hanging onto a thread of hope, but when Beth the vet said she felt things would deteriorate quickly now I too had to let go. I couldn't see her go through any more of that pain. 

I stood outside the vet with the lead in my hand as they waited for me to take her in, for some minutes I couldn't find the strength to take that step forward, but with Steve by my side I had to do it for Ziva. Ziva went from this world quickly, there was no fight left in her, she was simply exhausted. 

Steve was devastated that he wasn't well enough to bring her home to bury with her family. Ziva has gone to Holyhead for cremation and will be back home soon. If he chooses, he can then bury the casket next to her family in our memorial garden. I'll leave that decision up to him.

Life can be tough, we've had it all thrown at us these last 12 months, here's hoping for a bright future, but thank you Ziva for everyday that you spent with us, thank you, it was a privilege and a pleasure. 

Just Photos

I have so much to say, but I really can't get round to writing. Hopefully soon my head will be in a better place. Please bear with my ... 

Changes And Confusion

Sadly we now have an empty crate in the van, I readjusted things today. I took Zeus up in the van with Sammi and her boys and walked him first. Only Barry passed the van whilst the troops were in it, and they gave him hell, otherwise it went well. I cried today as I ended the walk, Sammi ran to the van and hid behind it. She always waited for Ziva to get close and charged her, they'd then swear at each other and run together. Today she stalked, then just stood up looking, came forward a bit then seemed confused before Ross came crashing into the situation. Sammi and Ziva were always close, but luckily she has Ross, whether she likes it or not!

Walking Helps

The first walk without Ziva was going to be hard, but other than Sammi looking back the once I seemed to be the only missing her. I cried a couple of times, thank god for these guys. 

Above the empty lake 

Zeus still going out alone

Blanik Hippy - Ziva 12/8/11 - 16/02/23

We've never been so ill prepared for the borrowed time to run out. Out playing in the field this morning, and now we face our first night without you. We are heartbroken to lose our little smiler. 

Cwsg yn dawel Ziva bach.

This Morning

Best I Can Do

No Blue Sky Today

Ziva was very bright and happy today, but Loki is still lame. 

The Beautiful One

What a beautiful shot of our lovely Zeus. I will try harder to edit it and remove the head collar. But of course I now partly regret sharing it as I'm inundated with messages about showing him. Look he is stunning, an absolutely beautiful pet dog, but I do not want to campaign a dog that is not correctly constructed. If I only had him, maybe it would be different, but I have Sammi, Kaiah, Orin and Siska who are all still more than capable of winning at any level. So I will never show Zeus, his feet are 10 to 2, his pasterns and hocks are weak, and he paces on the move. I do not want to campaign a dog like that, I want to thrive for correctness. Zeus is a beautiful looking dog, but he is a beautiful looking pet. His brother is far superior in construction and movement, and to be honest his character is better too. 

This was the photo that I originally took, I cropped out the headshot, if you doubt me look at the feet, pasters and hocks! Why would I pay the expensive entry fees when I know this dog will not win, and neither should he ... handsomest dog, yes, but he's not show dog material, and I can say that, I bred him, I own him .. and despite his idiosyncrasies, I do love him. 

My Favourite Photos Today

 

What a stunning day, amazing, so warm that I had to change out of my winter clothes after the first walk. I do love February, so often we have better weather in February than we do in March and early April. 

Loki was a tad lame on his front again today, I wonder if he landed awkwardly coming out of the van as he seemed Ok at home. Ziva was Ok, fell on her bum the once but we both laughed about it, she also went down a steep edge whilst I was messing with my phone, I looked up to see her scrambling back up my heart was in my mouth, but she made it. She keep tripping over her front foot, knuckling on it I guess, so the signals are not getting through as well .. like I said yesterday, enjoy everyday.

Ziva

Ziva was over the moon to be out and about today. Mooching and eating, as she does. At no point did I feel I needed to turn back, but the 20- 30 mins was enough for her. I feel sorry for Ross and Sammi as they could do double the time, to be honest so could Loki now, but we have to adjust things to suite the individual sometimes and there is plenty of freedom at home. Leaving her at home is not an option. To be honest she does seem better outside with lots of space, she seems to struggle more getting around in a small room with furniture and other meandering family members. 

I don't know how long we have but the last week has seen a deterioration in her mobility and demeanour. Oh we are not there now, not today and I won't spoil today by fearing what is to come ... but I've no experience of what I'm dealing with and how things can change, all I know is I see a difference, I'll make note of it and carry on enjoying her company ...

Todays Walks

I left them all standing, with Loki next to Ross, not only did he move but he changed his position. I think it looks better his way! LOL

Yesterday's Photos

I was busy making a poster for a friend last night so I didn't get onto here or spend much time on Facebook. I'll share the poster as soon as she has.

My concern for Ziva increases, she's become an old dog all of a sudden. Though she's happy to mooch and toddle about her spark is definitely not there this last week. A friend suggested she could be experiencing headaches - yeah sadly that is also a possibility. Anyway we'll go off for our walk now and see how she's feeling today.