Siska, Orin And Things

These two are doing well together. Well, there was no reason why the friendship wouldn't continue, though he won't be bullied by her! One thing that I'm not too pleased about is that she now follows him about, and he goes just a tad too far for comfort sometimes. She was always glued to her mother and as Kaiah stayed a sensible distance from me, so did she! I've not had an emergency situation to call them back from yet, I'm hopefully she will respond as quickly as she did with Kaiah at her side, but with everyone still readjusting, I guess it's wait and see. 

Siska has her spark back now and is eating so much better. After this weekend it'll be down to dog food only and no extras, well only the extras they all get. Potato skins done in the air fryer till they are crispy are a current favourite treat. 

I'm still finding it hard to go to sleep, I still see Kaiah's face as soon as I close my eyes, and then I'm tortured by my thoughts. I can't talk about her and crumbled yesterday as my mother bought her up in conversation. I think it'll be a very long time till I can talk about her without being emotional. I still can't make sense of it, I guess I never will. I continue to see Kaiah bouncing in the yard that morning, such a happy, health girl, full of fun, full of life. We were walking today and I got so angry, she should have been there, this surgery was supposed to give us happier times. How the hell did it all go so wrong? 

On Friday it will be the anniversary of the first painful deaths here in the last 12 months. We knew Jezi only had months then, but to lose Nico before her after only days of illness was such a huge shock, little did we know what was to follow. This time last year my Father was still alive, I had 10 dogs and 7 cats. How harshly we have been punished over the last year is beyond understanding, but as I've said losing Kaiah has been the worst, ever. As much as it hurts you can cope and understand the loss of an old animal, even the loss of a young animal who's been ill, but this has broken me beyond compare. 

On Friday afternoon I'm travelling with Bethan and Darryl to Bath, we are staying overnight for the show on Saturday. I'm really hoping that I can focus on the positive, and for the sake of myself and others that I can keep it together and enjoy a days showing with Orin, and Kaiah's kids Siska and Callan.