Please excuse my self indulgent post but as I've said before writing it down helps, along with chocolate and tears it's my therapy! Though I tried to push everything to the back of my mind I was well aware that the pups should have been arriving yesterday into today. I coped well, walked in the cold and enjoyed myself but in the evening when I started to open chocolates bought as Xmas pressies I kind of knew it was all going down hill fast.
Watching Robbie's Xmas programme last night didn't half cheer me up. I don't care who loves him or hates him the man always manages to make me smile. I just look at him and I smile and that's sometimes all you need isn't it. I do get fed up of people who think I need to hear their opinion of him, hell I don't .. but I'm a George Michael fan so I should be use to people trying to convince me I shouldn't like someone because .... Sod off!
I enjoyed the last of Celebrity, though I was backing Roman and surprised to see Enders beat Corrie .. Mind you Andy was that guy from the Royle Family to me. So yeah basically I was coping .. and then Kaiah decided to prepare a den for her brood to arrive and I burst into tears. Honestly that was me gone, but she was the priority and I distracted her which wasn't difficult to be honest, and then once again I sobbed my heart out. I honestly couldn't stop. God it hurts, I still feel like I've lost something. I had so much invested in it .. everything for months had been preparing for something so special .. and then there was nothing. If anyone else tells me that these things happen for a reason or gives me any similar platitude I swear I'll punch them.. well maybe not, but I'll imagine doing it. Too soon guys, too soon. I cried myself to sleep as the love of my life held me close .. I know he gets it, he knows me inside out so how could he not! I'm not really a Xmas enthusiast, but I was so looking forward to this Xmas. I imagined it would be magical and special like Xmas 2013 when Sammi Belle lay in the nest with her siblings and mummy Ziva .. so yeah I'm dreading Xmas this year too. Anyone got any chocolate???
To get the photo of the girls above I threw the toy behind me, but if you follow the girls gaze you can see that I got it wrong. Well I was never in the netball team at school and yes the ball ended up over the wall and in the farmers field. Oops. I decided to do this walk and go back to get it with Nico and Jezi. I wasn't sure how I'd get in and though it would be easier in a field full of sheep with 2 dogs. It all went to plan but I had to take a photo of Nico and Jezi with this rather aging piece of farming equipment. Good isn't it... and No Cofi I'm not telling you where it is but you can help Steve steal it for his garden if you like! Joking honest .. But I think he will be asking the farmer if he can have it for his garden .. as he would!
