During the call I listened to her sadness, as I firmly believe grief is individual it was not my place to compare, but after the call of course my thoughts went straight to Winnie. I can't deny I had also thought it would have been easier all round had she not survived the birth. The pain she endured over the last three hours of her life was just heartbreaking. At the time I wish I could have overdosed her with something myself just to help her be free of that nightmare, but there was nothing I could do except wait for the vet.
Do I honestly wish she had died at birth? I don't know, I really don't. Selfishly I'm glad she was here for those few short weeks, I'm glad I got to cuddle her, love her and watch her play ... I'm glad I got to know Winnie, I'm glad she knew love, warmth, and plenty, I'm glad she had one of the best mothers ... I'm just so sad that it ended as traumatically as it did.
We planted forger me nots on Winnie's grave and now the bastard sheep have trampled the walls and eaten them. My heart just sank, I hated them so much at the times ... but of course they don't understand, they don't get it so I forgive them. We now have some flowers in a pot in the garden for her ... we won't forget you Winnie.
