I had an interesting chat with my friend Paula last night. She in't anyone my regular friends know, we met sitting/sleeping opposite each in Walton hospital. She has the most beautiful Ragdoll cat and loves to follow the photos and stories of the Blanik gang. I'd had a particularly bad head day on Wednesday, a day like I hadn't had in a while and it did give me comfort to talk to her and see that she is still experiencing similar days. They tell you in Walton that you have experience a life changing event, but you think yeah .. I'll soon be back to normal. Well I guess this is now normal, but it's now a new normal for both of us. She has to leave notes around the house to remind her to do things, similarly I have named alarms on my phone to remind me to do things. She experiences debilitating tiredness, I have to sleep most afternoons or I start to feel ill. We both forget things and struggle sometimes mid sentence to remember what we are talking about .. though I have to admit that rarely happens to me now. But what upset us both is people who say "Oh yes that happens to me, I forget things too," or "I get tired and sleep in the afternoon." I don't think people are being unkind, sometimes maybe it's misguided kindness in trying to make you feel better. But the tiredness I feel if I don't sleep in the afternoon or early evening is beyond anything I've experienced before, if I don't sleep I can't function and start to feel really ill. Paula is the same. We have both found ways in making sure it doesn't ruin our lives though. For me I'm lucky that Ian drives home from the shows. Without him I doubt I could continue to go to the Champ shows .. or I'd have to sleep over! The other thing that irritates me, as I've said before is when people ask, "How are you?" and before you can answer they say .."You look very well." I usually say I'm fine, but I'm broken on the inside so no one sees a wound, scar or plaster. Again I don't think people are being unkind .. just lack of understanding maybe?
Ross is still a concern, but I had to put the whole thing on the back burner for a while right now. Tali has taken priority this week. Honestly I'm not sticking my head in the sand, with his symptoms remaining the same I know I need to find out what going on. But as he's still the clown at the party I don't think another week will make much difference. It's a lovely sunny morning here and I'll be off out in no time .. now what do I do with Tali today???
