Night Shift

You may recall I mentioned the complaint about the vaccinations at dog club, well the pup is fine, but I'm not! lol I have some horrendous head cold symptoms going on, and I'm feeling quite sorry for myself. Every time I started to go to sleep last night I started coughing, eventually giving up and getting up just after 3am. I felt it was unfair on Steve and came under my blanket into the living room. 

As ever with a cup of tea in hand Facebook was my first port of call, but with everyone sensibly in bed there wasn't a lot going on. Beti started to whinge. Hmm what do I do? Now she's awake, she may need a pee, I can't mess up her brilliant toilet training. I left her a bit, but with that octopus being constantly squeezed and squeaked I decided to get her up before she woke up the house, she was delighted! Out for a wee then everything came out of the toy box for about 30 mins. She started dozing at my feet by about 4am so I popped her in the small crate in the living room and switched the light off.

Within minutes there was a squeak in my ear, a voice I know well, "Hi Archie!" I think he must have decided to have s strip down wash right next to my ear before bouncing on top of me to find a comfortable spot, but he wasn't there long. 

For the life of me I couldn't stop coughing, and I adjusted my position so that I was more upright. That was better, but the torch caught a glance of the painting of Kaiah and then that was all I could think of. The sadness and regret doesn't decrease. In the light of day of course I know I did it for the right reasons, I wanted Kaiah here 24-7 and not Hannah who haunted her, and all of us for 8 -9 weeks after every season, but the self-torture does not decrease and talking about her is not an option.

I'm distracted by the ticking clock, not a lot annoys me more that a ticking clock at night. Funny how I never notice this clock during the day, not even when we have a snooze. I try to think of the lyrics of the George Ezra song ... no it doesn't come to me, but of course it has this morning. "Well, I've got my tracing paper so that I could trace my clock, And the bastard face kept changing, and the hands, they wouldn't stop. Well, I was ripping out the battery, I received myself a shock, And to add insult to injury, I could still hear it tick and tock." Love that song and the name Blanik Kazio was a play on the title. 

When I closed my eyes it was still dark, but I remember the light starting to come into the room ... the next time I looked it was 7.30am and time to get up. I must have had a couple of hours sleep then, but this morning I feel like a wet lettuce! I should be going to Richmond on Saturday, but with Siska's toe, Orin's runny eye and now this, it hangs even more in the balance.