Excuse me whilst on this milestone if I dwell in the past a little more. My scheduled MRI may now not go ahead, Covid has changed so many plans but I'm sure nothing has changed in my head.
Waking up in Walton was overwhelming. Whilst there I was pretty damn scared and initially very lonely. I completely lost my dignity, well, bed baths, a catheter and being lifted to poo on a commode and your dignity goes out of the window doesn't it. My family and friends were a country away from me but thankfully my sister-in-law became my rock ... whilst my husband did everything I asked of him. "Stay home and look after my dogs!" But I'll never forget the fear I felt as we said what I feared was our last goodbye at Bangor hospital. I think throughout the whole ordeal that was the most scared I felt, or have ever felt. After that I had to put my big girl pants on and deal with it.
After the surgery I don't remember how long I spent in ICU, or in room 3 of Dott ward but I saw things I will never ever forget and I can only be thankful that for me recovery was good. So many there with me didn't get there, or will never be the same again.
It was in the early hours of the morning that I was moved to room 7 of Dott ward, I was reassured that I was being moved because I was doing well and someone else needed the more intensive care of room 3. It was certainly more relaxed in room 7 and I did feel they were less neurotic about our care ... by that I mean the pils could be 15 - 20 mins late ... with 42 tablets to take in every 24 hour period I guess they couldn't be much later without causing a backlog.
Anyway I'm finally getting to the point of my post, Steve sent my tablet over with my parents and the first thing I watched was this song. "I'm Alive" had been ringing in my head for days ... The song's video has metaphors everywhere. The black Ravens and the white doves and the black and white zebra representing the darkness of death and the brightness of life .... and the coin of life ... which way did it land? We'll never know but I'm still here, sadly my hero no longer is!
