And the pain of loss is no easier. To loose in it's self is bad enough, but to loose one so special makes it almost unbearably. I still expect to see you in your "look out" as i come home from work, I hope to hear your individual squeal as I come out of the van; but the silence is painfully deafening and sadly my eyes never deceive me. Though there's always a greeting there's no one insisting on cuddles before I have a chance to go to the loo, no muddy paw marks on my back and no teeth clamping on to my arm. Meal times are back to basics and walks are lacking your charisma and spark. Though your name has been removed I regularly look over to your bed, but your never there. Logically I know that you won't be, but sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and I still expect to see you there.
I had known for a long time that we were living on borrowed time, and I enjoyed ever minute of that time that we spent together. Yes, I knew it was close, but still feel at the end that you were stolen from me too quickly. I thought I was prepared, but found myself more unprepared for the loss than ever! Three beautiful members of my family stolen in one year, one was too many, three has ripped out my heart.
The house is still full of life, goofy boys, naughty young girls and fat cats pulling the Xmas tree down; but to loose such a huge presence leaves an enormous void in our lives and somehow it's hard to move on.
I see you as clear as day in my mind, and love you as much as I did when I could hold you in my arms. But god I miss your physical presence in my life, I miss you so much I can't contain the hurt. My darling Louis I loved/love everything about you, you were always the "one" for me. Your love of life, gentle kind nature, charisma and charm were unequalled ... and your striking good looks were unquestioned. RIP my darling ... Until we meet again I'll be thinking of you.Thanks to the lovely friends who again respected my wishes. Thanks for the messages, cards and flowers. They mean more than words can say!
