Tomorrow we are re-attempting a Sunday lunch with family to celebrate Steve's 70th which was on the 4th of November. On the actual weekend, Steve was ill and we had to cancel. We've started in the same way, with a steak and red wine for Steve tonight... and just diet coke with my steak for me. I think I may have had two or three alcoholic drinks since April when Dad became very ill. I was too scared of drinking in cases I needed to drive to theirs late evening or overnight. Now I've got out of the habit of drinking, and I'm not missing it at all. Anyway, the steak was nice, but I've had better ... and I suddenly burst into tears as I realised my eating buddy was no longer there. Momentarily I looked from the fire to the floor, but there was no one there and just sleeping cats elsewhere. Steve shared his with Zeus ... but there was no one there for me. I used to argue so much with Junior, threaten him and swear at him, but of course he always got something, so he was not going to stop. I've been doing so well, but that hit me hard tonight and now I'm really emotional again. In a house so full of life, loosing one leaves a big impact.
