Wednesday 13 November 2019

Dreams Of The "K" Litter

I can't deny it I'm absolutely heartbroken, and I can't move on until I've got it out of my system. I need to cry, to scream, to mourn the loss of what I had hoped would be. So many dreams and plans. Months and months of thinking of not much else and working the future around my dream. With my hopes raised so much on Sunday night we even decided on a name .. a totally new name and one that would only be suitable for a sable bitch .. but that was my dream.
Why would a fit health bitch mated at the optimum time not conceive? No worries I don't expect an answer as we'll never know. What we do know was she ovulated and that she had a text book mating to a fit health dog who is producing well. The rest will be a mystery.
I can't stand to look at Facebook, so many people with puppies .. Yes I guess I'm jealous, but I'm also pissed off. Some people have litter after litter and here's little me trying to do it right, trying to be respectful of my bitches and the breed I love and we get knock after knock. After all our last litter was over 3 years ago and that was not plain sailing was it! Mind you I'd sooner be back in that situation than where I am now. Which of course brings us to the fluid bag ... what is it?  Is it an embryo that is being reabsorbed? If not then what? I can't possibly believe it's a live pup as Kaiah hasn't shown signs of early pregnancy like Sammi did. But what the hell happened here on Sunday night then? I wasn't that flaky to be seeing things, something was drastically different. If there are any changes than we will take her back for another scan .. but honestly due to what I've seen here I can't imagine that will be happening.
I wish I'd entered Kaiah at LKA now, but with cost of over £800 already spent on "The litter" I just couldn't afford to take a chance and spend any more. Oh and I wish I'd entered her in Stafford so she could give young Kasey a run for her money, but there you go! I had hopes and dreams and for the time being they have all gone out of the window. Hopefully in 6 months I'll have the stomach to face doing this again because right now I sure couldn't go through it again.