Another Photo Of Uran

Looking even more like a young Louis

I'm In Love

Meet 

"Uran di val Rufina"

This young man is now in the UK and was VA2 at the British Sieger. 

I think he's absolutely stunning and I so wish Sammi was ready for mating this year. 

I can only hope he's in the country in 12 months time and at least now I can see what his early progeny looks like before taking the plunge. 

Mind you with time on my hands you never know something else could come along and I could well change my mind! But at the moment this is the guy for me! 

Oh, and yeah - facially (But not constructionaly) he does look a little like Louis! 

(But that hasn't influenced me at all!!!) 

Stunning Sunset In Fron!

Noya Came To Visit Loki

They had a wonderful time, I'm kind of hoping Tish wanted to visit me too!!! lol

Just Saying My Piece!

I read with great interest the results and feed back from The North Wales Alsatian Championship show that was held in Mona yesterday. Only 30 mins away and I didn't go! To be honest had I not been "on holiday" when the entries closed I'm not sure whether I would have entered, or not! I guess if anything I would have given the dog judge a go ... at least his judging is always a lotto, the bitch judge was guaranteed to go the other way .. so to speak! (and oh my God hasn't she caused controversy in her choices!)
People traveled from all over the country to compete, some after seeing the judging in earlier classes put their adult dogs back in the car without exhibiting them. I can almost guarantee on seeing the results that had I entered Sammi Belle, she too would have had a day out without competing. An older adult bitch who won a class has had 3 litters and has a hip score of 80, this in itself proves the kind of exhibitor that was there on the day.(and a tiny tiny bit of research proves the judge would have known this - yeah Ok judge the dog on the day) The bitch had short front legs, a deep heavy body with a dippy back and no doubt a fair bit of pain in her hips! (And god help her progeny!) No, I won't be posting photos, but again a little searching if anyone is interested and photo's are easy to find!
Under normal circumstances I would have been pissed off to miss a day out with friends, but I'm really please I didn't enter it would have been a waste of money and degrading for my beautiful show team. To loose in good company is never an insult, but in my opinion to win at NWA this September was definitely no accolade!

First Group Pics

Well for a while anyway. But I bet no one missed this lot as much as I did! 

 Tali, Loki, Ziva, Mikey, Asha, Sammi

Finlay, Jezi, Nico

*****

And as you can see £345 later - someone is feeling much better!!!!

(no I don't begrudge it - it's just a shock)

There's a huge shaved patch on his side after the scan,

otherwise today I would say our Finlay is back to normal!!

We Meet

Finally I got to meet Olaf and Elsa today. Being Nico babies I would have been gutted to not get the opportunity to meet both. Hopefully we will be seeing quite a lot of Princess Elsa! 

Thanks for taking me!

Medical news at "Blanik!"

Finlay's blood results show the protein in his blood is significantly low, but they don't know why! The protein level in his urine is normal so he's not loosing in that way. The scan shows a nodule on his spleen, this could or could not be significant, but at his age we are not doing any further investigations. Vet Llinos agrees that it's likely he had some kind of brain disturbance on Tuesday .. which may well happen again. They would like to test his blood again in three weeks to see if the levels are the same - we'll see! This evening Finlay is much more with it, his mobility is back to normal and he isn't winging and panting intermittently ...one day at a time now.
I've been to see my GP this afternoon, sorry to anyone who had an appointment after me, we were in for 45 mins ... anyway he was great ... rest, relax etc yeah yeah, will do!

The Old Man

I'm sorry for not updating re. Finlay yesterday, and I still can't stomach writing the second part of my time in Hospital, but I'll get to it! I currently have the concentration span of a Goldfish!!!
Anyway I don't think we are out of the woods yet with Finlay, but we can certainly see an improvement in him. He's been to the field, had some chicken and is a little more settled. Yes he's still having spells of wining and panting but is a lot more settled. Two days ago he couldn't walk 10 ft without falling over, now he can make it round the field. He's still lethargic and seems to be going through the motions of life rather than living it, but at least now he does seem to be "in" there. I do worry about the wining, is it in response to pain or discomfort? It certainly sounds distressing to us, but we can't find any obvious source of pain now. Anyway let's hope the results of the bloods are in today and we at least get some answers before the weekend!

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Jan is sticking to her guns and keeping Elsa

Olaf is now going up for sale ...

Must be so hard with only the two

Today Brings A Little Hope

Physical the old man seems much better today, though he looks a little vacant. I'm not sure what went on here yesterday and I''m not sure he's quite all there today ... does that make sense? Steve and I can't help but think that he's had a mild stroke, or something but that doesn't go hand in hand with the other symptoms.
Finlay was really "off" yesterday, just lay there when the vet came, she had to step over him. He usually loves visitors. He was in obvious pain and we had terrible trouble getting him to his feet. He then struggled to stay on his feet and could barley walk. Today he's getting up Ok, and moving ok for a dog with early CDRM .. just that vacancy about him is unnerving. Like "he" as we know him is not quite there!

Finlay

Well it never rain's but it pours! Finlay has been poorly and has spent most of the day at the vets. He was wobbly and falling over this morning, vomiting occasionally and listless.
When the vets came to pick him up I honestly didn't think he would be coming back home. The vets scanned him and as he was showing extreme abdominal pain and they took bloods. Finn was picked up late afternoon and came home, sadly there is no conclusion to his symptoms, further blood test have been sent for more detailed examination ... the old boy's really not well

Olaf and Elsa

The little guys are now 6 and a half weeks old - and I haven't seen them since the day they were born! Here's hoping I get to see them this week then eh! 

From what I gather from Jan  he's cuddly and affectionate and she's a busy little handful ... nothing new there then! 

Those Last 2 Weeks - Part 1

I guess to help me through the dark days I write this blog, there couldn't have been much darker than the last few weeks and I was unable to write. But now it all haunts me, I don't sleep at night it all just goes round and round in my head, what was said, by whom and where. The errors and decisions that could have caused me my life, so we'll start with Consultant Farah's words, and then we'll go back to Anglesey C.S show on the last Saturday in August and break the events down to what I find manageable pieces!!!!

"30% of people die at the first bleed,

 of those who survive and are not treated, 

50% will die within a month.

Between day 4 and 7 you are at serious risk of another bleed with disastrous consistences.

95% of people survive the operation, the others 5% do not,

Now what do you want to do?"

Anglesey C.S Show

Everything was all so "normal." Gail and I arrived at the show, we parked next to Paula causing double GSD barking level of noise. Went in, saw friends, cuddled Bella and then got Loki in to the hall. I did call someone by the wrong name, I called Carly, Kirstie. I've known both since they were kids, they look nothing alike and I've never done it before. Was it significant? Hell I don't know! 

Still feeling fine I took Loki into his class, he was second out of three with his sister Bella taking first place. I ran out and got Sammi from Gail and went into the ring. My thoughts were so clear, as ever I had my rose tinted glasses on and in my eye Sammi was easily the class winner. I was lucky the judge agreed with me. 

As they called in the other class winners to compete against Sammi for BOB I looked round for Ian and Bella .. calling him into the ring I thought ... "Ooo I've got a headache coming, that's nasty!" Still I continued and as Sammi was presented with BOB I couldn't get out of the hall quick enough. The headache spreading over my head and into the back of my neck making me feel like I had a stiff neck. Within no time I was sweating profusely and vomiting. (and apparently I was the colour of death!) I have never got so ill so quickly, but still the severity of the situation did not dawn on me and I got Gail to bring me home! 

Meanwhile the show continued and I was over the moon to hear our little Bella had gone BPIS, but gutted to have missed it all. To see Ian's face would have made my day! As the judge commented that she loved Sammi I can't help but wonder what could have been for her!

I continued to feel really ill for the rest of the day, vomiting with an intense headache and stiff neck, taking to my bed helped somewhat but still I had horrendous spells. It was around midnight when Loki's continued barking got Steve out of bed for the third time. He could hear drunk voices singing Man United songs carrying from the village, now my pain was beyond belief and I asked Steve to ring NHS helpline. They suggested we go to A&E .. Now! With hindsight this was a mistake as we waited for 4 and a half hours to be seen. We should have called 999 gone by ambulance and been seen instantly. But here the triage nurse was also very lax, I now know a patient presenting with my symptoms should have been prioritised and seen instantly!!! 

My first effort ...

... at making myself breakfast wasn't really successful. Steve was out in the field with the dogs as I got on with tea and toast, but then the door flew open, and Tali came in to check on me. There is no doubt they have picked up on my current weakness and she grabbed the toast off my tray, chewed it a couple of times before realising she didn't like my mother's home made blackcurrant jam, and she spat it out on the rug in front of the fire! But don't stress ... Asha, Mikey and Sammi were seconds behind her and the toast was demolished. I sulked and settled for a rich tea biscuit! (Stop laughing!!!)

Just My Opinion ... Of Course!!!!

I found this - written a few weeks ago but unpublished - maybe today is the right time to print it! ....... Don't you dare tell me you know how I feel, because believe you me you chuffing well don't! To be honest you haven't got a sodding clue how I feel. You may have experienced loss, you may have been heartbroken with grief, but for one minute you really don't know how I'm feeling right now!
I firmly believe that the pain of loss /grief is individual, like physical pain we all experience it and deal with it differently. Some people have a much higher pain threshold, I believe that is also true of grief. Some people are able to "cope" better than others, not because they don't feel it, oh they do, but because simply they are made that way! Some crumble for days, weeks, before finding the strength to move on and live life again.
I also believe that grief deals you a different blow in individual cases. The circumstances of the loss, your own well being and strength at the time, as well as the strength and support available from others, should you choose to want it of course. The loss of one can not and should not compare to the others, Individuals affect our lives differently and their passing should and does affect us differently. Some leave gaps that are impossible to fill, others for reasons clearer to us later leave us able to move on easier and earlier.
So please, lets not compare our circumstances and don't tell me you know how I'm feeling, and I won't ever patronise you by pretending to know how your feeling in your hour of need.

Birthday Missed ...

During the time I was in hospital I missed Loki's first birthday. 

I had already prepared this 

better later than never eh! 

Loki Sleeps!!!

Well he's pretending!- both eyes are open! 

Catching Up

Super Critiques for Loki and Sammi at Merioneth from judge Martin Sanders

 

GSD – J (2) 1 Stanley’s Lokean of Blanik, eyecatching individual of good merit. Masculine well proportioned head. Correct eye colour which gives off a true expression. Ears well placed which he used to good advantage. His front & rear angles complement each other which is evident when he moved. He displays excellent reach & drive holding a breath taking outline on the go around. Could not resist him. BP, BOB;

(3,2) 1 Stanley’s Banik Ivana, quality exhibit with plenty to admire. Excellent in head, eye & expression. Medium in size. Good overall balance, correct in topline with a good croup. Front & rear angles good. Moved out soundly, pushed her stable mate all the way.

I'm Home

After 16 days away I got the most fantastic welcome from 8 of the Blaniks.The level of excitement was pretty predictable with Nico, Loki, Sammi and Ziva fighting for pole position. The other 4 too gave me a huge welcome with only Finlay showing rather hurtful indifference! Steve has done a fantastic job of looking after them, thank you my cariad for respecting my wishes and staying home with the kids. I can't thank Walton hospital enough for looking after me, especially after Ysbyty Gwynedd tried to kill me!! A huge thank you to everyone for messages, cards and phone calls. I may have not been with it enough to reply. but I read them all and they mean the world.
THank god I didn't have my White Light moment, but never have the lyrics of a song felt like they were written for me so much before - please listen ...

well hello

Still in Walton. Nurse thinks its hilarious that Ive coped with brain surgery and Im moaning about medical tape being pulled off my arm.