Kai ... I Could Have Sworn ..

Not for the first time today I could have sworn I heard you screaming, as only you could. But I guess when the brain takes over from the emotion I realise that it was just a distant sound, my mind playing tricks on me again. Maybe it was your granddaughter, or maybe your son, but my heart breaks and the tears flow as I realise that it wasn't you, it could never be you again. I'd pay anything now to hear your individual bark again, to look into those soft kind eyes and to throw my arms around your huge neck. I miss you so much words fail me, my beautiful big boy, My awesome dog!

Louis

Thanks for asking about Louis and giving me a nudge to update the information.... Louis' no better really, though the steroids do encourage him to eat. He had terrible diarrhea in his bed again last night, I don't think he has time to give us warning. He looks awful, he's so thin these days that his eyes appear sunken, he really looks like an old dog. But ... And it's a huge BUT, he's still totally oblivious to it all, full of beans, funny, playful and as cuddly as ever. As long as he doesn't feel the way he looks then we are all OK about it.. Michail the vet has laid it out honestly for me, the green poo is down to small bleeds in the intestine,they are neither here nor there. But if he has a rupture then there will be nothing they can do. I'm glad to have the information, it helps me to know and deal with it. But believe me I'm not dwelling on it, I'm enjoying every day with him, It's hard not too when he's throwing himself at me like an idiot!

Kiri Today

Strange Baby ....
Don't you think I'm looking older?
But something good has happened to me
Change is a stranger
You have yet to know

Kiri nearest the camera

  Jezi and Finlay behind her and Louis on his way back

Don't Tell Me What To Do ....



Ziva

Whilst I'm always willing to listen, open minded to advice and usually the first to ask a friends opinion; in my personal life I hate being told what to do. In my opinion it's not down to anyone other than my nearest and dearest to tell me what I "must do." By all means suggest and advice but I don't think anyone has the right to tell me how I should live my life, and the more people push the further I dig my heels in!! Steps down off soap box ....
The girls, yeah, that's what it's all about. Someone told me that I had no choice, I had to rehome one or even two of the girls, well I'm sorry that's my decision and the only other person who has any input on that subject is Steve. The other night after the latest fight I could have easily given both of the culprits away, but now things have settled and it's not that easy to think of giving them up. There's no doubt Jezi and Danni have issues and may well have to be permanently separated in the future. As I've always said, I will put them first, their future is far more important then my feelings, but I do have options. We do have kennels and could rotate and separate in the house as we do now with Kiri and have done for the last 13 years. It's not like it's something new to us, to us it's everyday life. It's whether this is the way we feel we should to go forward with Jezi and Danni... or not!


Danni

There's no doubt that Danni has bonded strongly with Steve and that Ziva is my baby, but my bond with Jezi has strengthen greatly over the last month or two. She was without doubt the trouble maker here, the outsider; but these days her and Ziva get on well it's just Danni that she has a problem with. Jezi is totally respectful of us and the adults and without doubt if she was the only pup their would never have been any issue. These days she's looking more like her mum and getting closer to us, just like Asha did as she grew up. (she was aloof as a youngster) To be fair the fights haven't all been her fault either, Danni is just as much to blame and Ziva is not faultless either, though she does tend to be oblivious to most of the tension.


Jezi

So what are we going to do? Hell I don't know. In a perfect world we'd tell them all to get on and carry on in bliss, but we all know in the real world it never works that way. Please don't think I'm being callous, I'm trying to be sensible and planning for the future; Kiri is 13 and that's a big age for a GSD. If we can cope for now then there will be the facility to keep them apart sooner or later.
The thought of having to give one up is heartbreaking, but no one here can carry on living like this indefinitely either. Because of the situation there's tension amongst the adults as well. Things don't have to change now, but we must see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The decision still isn't made but my hope is that they can all stay, that somehow it becomes workable for all to have the life they deserve. One thing is for sure if one does have to be rehomed then it can only be to a better home, someone who can give them more than we can!

H litter boys at 8 months

 Diesel

Harley

In His Own words ....

Ok my lovelies, WHITE LIGHT is done and dusted! Am I allowed to say it may be the best dance record I've ever made

Finished it today..... :)

Sisters

And you'd think butter wouldn't melt!!

Danni and Jezi - together!
*****

Where is my photo?

Little Miss Ziva, scared of missing out!

It Doesn't Get Better ...

Last night we finally came to the conclusion that Danni and Jezi can no longer live together. 4 fights in 2 weeks, with gashes and cuts on both. One of them will have to go before someone really gets hurt. We are both heartbroken but for the sake of everyone we feel we have no choice. I always predicted that Ziva and Jezi would be trouble together as Danni was quite submissive as a youngster. But times have changed and though I still think Danni fears Jezi she won't be bullied these days! So the search for a home restarts and at present we would be willing to let either go if the home was right for them.

Despite new medication and a prescription diet Louis has had diarrhea all week. Though he is still a happy bunny it must be distressing for him to have an "accident" in the house, and worse still in his bed. He is down to 27kg again and I'm no very worried about his future. I phoned the vet this morning and she is concerned that the Sulphasalazine didn't help him. I'm going to collect him some Metronidazole and some steroids shortly. And so the period of "hope" begins again .....

George Time

George - Lifting my spirits

So much has gone on in my George world and I haven't reported it. Photo's and news of George out and about, photo's of him on holiday with Fadi. (and those photo's that emerged of Fadi!!! OMG - definitely not to be printed here) There have even been photo's of him out with Kenny. Maybe in future I'll regret not documenting the news, but really I've not been in a good place and it's taken a lot of effort to just function.
After loosing Kai I just didn't seem to be able to get myself together. Emotionally I fell apart, but then I started to suffer some physical symptoms too. Reluctantly I went to the Doctor and she said I was suffering from Stress, but decided to do blood tests to rule out any physical issues. Good thing she did, she discovered I have an overactive thyroid, this gives many of the same symptoms as stress. So pills, regular blood tests and a hospital referral to sort out the dose and I should be back on track in a few weeks! :)
I knew there was a logical explanation for all my strange behaviour !!! (LOL)

Kai - still breaking my heart.

Anyway, back to George .... During the time that Kai was ill, George announced the new dates for the "Symphonica tour" ...I'd been waiting with such anticipation for this announcement, but at the time I don't think I was even able to cracked a smile. Now I am starting to think about it, finally now I feel I have something to focus on, to look forward too. I'll be seeing George at the MEN on the 21st of September and again on the 9th of October with the Echo concert being on the 10th of October.
Linda, can I book my room please?

Visitor

 -Blanik Extrovert -Arko 

It was lovely to see Arko today, he's looking great.

PhotoShopppped???

Of Course it is!!!!
(and not that well either)

*****

Louis' not doing too well again at the moment. Same scenario, terrible diarrhea, refusing to eat, he's painfully thin and his eyes are sunken. Luckily for us, last week his vet went to a seminar on intestine and bowel problems in dogs. Here's hoping the new found, or maybe refreshed knowledge will help us get control of the situation again. The only blessing is that Louis still seems oblivious to it all and is full of enthusiasm and fun. It's us that's seeing him starving and turning into a skeleton in front of our eyes. I'll be honest, I'm too scared to weight him at the moment, he must be on an all time low!

Anyway, positive thoughts, new pills and a prescription diet will help!

Mr Amazing!

8 Month Old Monsters

Ziva, Jezi and Danni (can you see the lead?)

Another Spitting Image?

Nero

During the time Kai was ill I received a lovely e.mail and photos from a lady in Scotland ... With her permission I'd like to share them with you now ...  
"I found your website today whilst doing some searching for Nordau German Shepherds. We lost our 12 year old gsd Nero (Nordau Lowrie) at New Year and I was searching for details of Nordau to see if they were still breeding as we are keen to have another gsd puppy but would love to have another dog of similar lines. As soon as I looked on your website I found photos of Dexi who it turns out was Nero's dad and Kiri his half sister. I have attached a couple of pics of Nero. I know that everyone thinks their dog is wonderful, or magnificent but Nero was just that :-) and more. I can see that he got a lot of his looks from Dexi.
I would be really interested to know if you have any plans for breeding this year or if you could give me some information about Dexi's lines and how we could perhaps find a puppy with similar qualities. I hope to hear from you soon and loved looking at your dog."

Dexi

*****

2nd e.mail
"Thank you for replying so quickly. I've just looked at your photos of Louis and I see what you mean. One of the most difficult things in looking for another puppy is that Nero was my first gsd (although my husband has had them for about 20 years) so he is really my "ideal" of the breed and that just made it all the more lovely to look at some pictures of his very close relatives. It would be great if you could pass on Ron's details for me. We will certainly contact him as we look around for another puppy. We are in Scotland, just north of Arbroath and funnily enough my husband has a friend who breeds gsds Mandy McAteer (Hundark) who suggested Conbhairean as a kennel to look at too so I have been looking at their dogs."

Thank you again Wendy for getting in touch and sending me photos of Nero. I'm sorry it took me so long to get them on here. It's so wonderful to see them as I've seen very few of Dexi's progeny. I wish you luck in finding your new baby, please let me know how you get on ...

Spitting Image?

Well not quite, it takes a lot for me to see it, as I always see them as so individual....But I have to agree, Jezi does look a lot like her Mummy!!!
I would say the main difference for me is that I think Asha has a softer, kinder expression whereas Jezi's expression at present looks a little harsh. (Like Tali was at her age)  Danni and Ziva are very different, Ziva looking a little like a female baby Louis, and Danni? Well I guess she has her grandaddy's coat and gob!!!

Bad Danni

My Bandage Is Better Than Lexi's

As I sat here in my PJ's flicking through facebook this morning I could hear the girls playing around in the snow in the yard. The door was open, Steve was lighting the fire and Tali and Asha were on the sofa. I could still hear the girls but became suspicious when I hadn't seen them for a while. I went out to find Ziva and Jezi had climbed the wall and fence and were in Steve's garden. Danni? Where the bloody hell was Danni? We called and called, checked the fields, the front garden, the bathroom, (Tali was once locked in there as I spent ages looking for her on the mountain) No sign. The snow is knee deep on the track so I came back to change from my slippers into my boots to go up the mountain.(But still in my PJ's!!)  Steve went back into the bottom field, still no sign. By now my heart was racing, I was shaking, imagining all sorts and almost sick with worry. Steve managed to get over into the adjacent fields and found a trail of bloody footprints. He called and called and eventually she came, happy as Larry running playfully around the fields. I was quite a distance away but eventually I heard Steve's whistle and came home. (I had my mobile phone ... his was on the fish tank!!!) When I arrived back I didn't know whether to cuddle her or beat the shit out of her ... So I did neither.

Sweet and innocent ...NOT!!!

To be fair to the girls the drifted snow has given them a step into Steve's garden and with the weight of the snow the fencing had collapsed a little. But Danni had gone a step further and In her efforts to escape over the boundary wall she had managed to puncture the skin between her pads. It bled for ages in what seemed at the time like excessive quantities, it's a good thing Steve's first aid is better than mine. Now bandaged up and with an empty bread bag sellotaped around her foot Danni seems oblivious to "what could have been" and is totally unaware of the nasty gash on her foot .... and actually you can slide better in the snow with a bag on your foot!!!

A Picture Of You

I just thought it would be nice to have a picture of everybody today,

so here goes ...

Kiri

Mikey

Louis

Finlay

Asha

Ziva

Tali

Danni (Still tied to a post!)

Jezi

April Snow

Mikey And Louis - Loving it

Kids in the fields

Now everyone who knows me knows I love the snow... and believe me I've been snowed in a fair few times in the 17 years I've lived here. Sometimes with no water for days, or as it has been today with no electricity. Still I love it and I love it here. But I HATE the wind, and today it's been bloody windy, and bitterly cold. The dogs loved it ... as they do, but it was just too cold to take many photos.

Even with the top field now safely fenced off we couldn't leave the girls out to play, the snow had drifted to the top of the walls, one step over and they would have been off to the lake on their own!
Tali's too worried about her pink toy to think how close she is to the top of the wall.... so who's going to tell her where it is?

Kirre

Thanks to Gillian for sending me this video of Kirre playing with Duwch.

 She's looking great and reminds me more of, Seffe, (Her mum) everytime I see her.

Did You Get That?

Thanks Sharon for sending me this.

 Kai with daughter Maya and Kiri, I guess it was 2009.

 Don't know if I want to laugh or cry....

*****

KAI - IN THE RIVER WITH KIRI

Aug 2011

Where Did "We" Go Wrong?

I remember so well agreeing to take you in in July 2007. I won't dwell on things from the past because it's been well documented here; but then for me life was hard and painful. You were without doubt the glimmer of sunshine that came into my life that year. You lifted my heart, you made me smile.We stayed close for years, I never thought it could change but without doubt over the last year we have drifted apart, I feel we are not that close now, are we? I've never treated you differently, I include you in everything, treat you as a "Blanik," even registered you as Blanik. I make sure you never miss out, hell you and Kiri even sleep in the bedroom with us.

So when did you stop loving me? Now more than ever I feel your distance. I try and stroke your head, you turn it the other way. I try and cuddle you, you walk away. I so need a hug right now, but your never there to comfort me, I'm so glad my other "boys" are always there for me. What did I do wrong by you?

Everyone admires you, you wag your tail at strangers and melt the heart of everyone you meet. Your great with the other dogs, and even reasonable with my cats now. Your obedient, funny on a walk and easy to live with in the home. Yet you give me no comfort or affection these days, can't you see how much it hurts me?  Am I trying too hard? You love Steve, no doubts about that, but me? I'm nothing to you these days.
I feed you, I walk you, I play with you ... but I have to go to work. Is it simply that I'm not there during the day with you now? Is that all it took for you to look the other way to find a new soul mate? That I know is not the normal characteristics of your breed.
For sure my "mate" has gone now and left me heartbroken, but I love you as I always have done. Please come back to me, show me something of what we use to have.....