One More Try

Regarding "That letter."

I guess we all have to do what we believe in our hearts is right. Whether others agree or not is besides the point. Especially if it helps us deal with the situation. So if witting the letter helped you, then in my opinion, so be it!
I've not said much on there about it before, but during the first week of George's sentence I was also finding it very hard to get on with my life. I couldn't function, couldn't sleep and cried so much it was crazy. Sometimes one feels a "Freeek" for having these uncontrolable feelings and emotions, sometimes on the surface it really is easier to hide them and keep quite. But sometimes that's just not possible! We also had major problems at home during that first week of the sentence, so that didn't help. And to be honest I felt I came really close to the edge. But I had to pull myself together, I have a job that I "have" to do, animals that need me and a husband that during the last few weeks has needed me more than ever. So life goes on, it has too.
I do agree with Pippy, no one can tells us how we should or shouldn't feel about George. Sometimes I don't understand why I feel the way I do myself, sometimes I wish I could change it, but we are who we are and we feel what we feel. And let's face it, my life could never be complete without him there to turn to in my hour of need!

I've written a lot here in the last few weeks, I blasted my brains out on George's music. I've also spent time thinking and crying as I walk my dogs in the mountain. Sometimes I felt so very alone and so very very sad. But It all helps, it gets things into prospective I guess.
So back to the beginning, as long as someones actions doesn't have a negative response for themselves or for George, then go for it. Do what you need to do to help you through... and To quote dear KT...."Just my opinion of course!"

AS....

A Baby Tali with Granny Nikki in 2005

Still wearing her "heart" in 2009

OK this is a strange one, but it's honestly true.
When I came home from WKC at the end of August I couldn't find Tali's collar. I pulled everything out of the show bag, at least twice. Asha and Mikey's collars were in the bag, but no sign of Tali's collar. I thoroughly went through the small bag that I carry the camera etc in, still no sign. I looked under the seats in the van, nothing. Steve also looked. The collar wasn't valuable or had any sentiment attached to it but her purple heart tag was on it, and she's had that since she was a pup. Yeah I guess I was a little sad about that. Anyway I gave up deciding that I had probably lost it at the show, or maybe when we stopped on the way home. I decided to be strong, not buy a new one and give her Krizzie's collar, then I went to Pet's at Home to get a new tag.
So yesterday, on the floor in the living room....there was the collar. Not hidden, not under or behind anything...just there on the floor by the fish tank....it's been 5 weeks since we lost it.....answers on a post card please...

Shoot The Dog

Cwm Dulyn Today

Mikey, Finlay, Louis and Kiri

Looking Good - Mr Mikey

1,2,3

Well there were so many reasons not to go to a companion show today, it's been a hard couple of weeks and at the moment for me there's no light at the end of the tunnel! But the sun was shinning, and I guess we all need a break from the "Same old Same old" so Sharon and I went for an afternoon out.
Anyway we had a great day. Mikey won pastoral, with Maya second, and Maya then went on to win the Open class.
Finlay won Best Rescue and along with Maya picked up a couple of other rosetts in the novelty classes.

1,2,3-Falling in love with you was easy for me

I was So chuffed and to be honest I was a little emotional when Finn won Best Rescue.

Maya, with some of her rossetts

Listen Without Prejudice Vol 1

I’ve always been a George Michael fan and just love this album. It boasts great song after great song. A standout track? That’s hard to choose but Mother’s Pride is a favourite of mine. I’m lucky enough to count George as a friend.

Ronan Keating

Where Did Your Heart Go?

George Michael: Pillars of pop have to commit real crimes - Julie Burchill
"I love George Michael. I consider him a songwriter of massive talent, occasionally touched with genius. I met him only once, just before Wham! broke up, and a small thing he did on that occasion spoke volumes. I rocked up to interview him for The Times, to his flat in Kensington, knocked on the door - and there he stood, in a doorway that opened right on to the busy street. In a business in which even minor stars have lackeys to open doors and pour drinks ("Shall I be mother?" he twinkled over the teapot – and I STILL didn't catch on...) this was more than refreshing – it was revealing.
His crime, while foolish and certainly deserving of the short custodial sentence it received, hurt no one. So when he gets out of jail next month, how about calling off what appears to be open season on this sweet, soulful, solitary man? So many vile crimes have been committed by crooning cretins. Yet GM is pilloried far more than any wife-beating Beatle, paedophiliac ex-Stone or child-pornography-downloading member of The Who.
I suspect his real crime, in the eyes of many, is being true to himself; a complex, tormented but ultimately honest man who will have no truck with the Big Lie that families are fun and that monogamous marriage, be it straight or gay, is the ultimate goal for everyone. Never mind, George, just download some kiddie porn, sleep with a 13-year-old and beat up a woman, and you too can become a pillar of the pop establishment."

Dear Friends

Thanks to a dear friend for making me feel less insane and sending me a PM. (below) It's so nice to realise that I'm not the only one who is currently finding it hard to function. It's so nice to have friends out there who relate to me, even if we've never had the pleasure of meeting in person. Sometimes we have language difficulties, but we have so much else in common that we always get by!
Even in a place which we consider safe, these last few weeks have been difficult and there having several differences of opinion. Health I know, but it's so nice to have friends who's are totally on the same wave length.
Thank you again Karin for taking the time to write and allowing me to print it here, and thank you too for all the times that you've been there for me... Your messages on my page on GMF are always appreciated and bring a smile to my face.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the friends around me for unquestionably support. Life would not be the same without you. You know who you are....

Hugs from "The man"
"I'm flabbergasted that there are people who feel like I do. Because I really sometimes feel silly crying over an article in some scum paper (don't read the comments ever, because I'm really not interrested in other people's "opinion"), or finding myself talking to his picture popping up on the screen. That man is my world, for years I tried to "forget"/hide that, because it feels a bit inappropriate for a "woman like me". But since the 25livetour, I not want to hide anymore. So people around me know I love this man, but they don't understand what this love really mean. As I said yesterday, I even don't know for sure myself. He is part of me, always in my mind and heart. Playing in my fantasies and a "voice" in my consciousness. I miss him when I don't "hear" of him a day (and that can be music or news). And while I'm feeling all of that I try to keep that to myself, because there is this little thing in me that says "you're insane". So other people don't understand me, but I don't make them any wiser and I can't really explain why... Is it shame, is it to private???
As I read things like you wrote on your blog (and sometimes I read between the lines of posts in GMF from other members also) I feel just that little bit less silly, I'm not the only one. (which sometimes makes me "jealous" too because he is so mine, if you understand what I mean...)
Thanks for being on this forum, thanks for writing so personal on your blog, thanks for being my friend and thanks for listening (reading)... Wishing you were closer to me, because I really would have visit you one day!!!"

Love In Need Of Love Today

Kemp: 'Michael Is Doing Okay'
SPANDAU BALLET star MARTIN KEMP has confirmed his pal GEORGE MICHAEL is "doing okay" and coping "as well as you can expect" in prison as he serves out his eight-week sentence.
The former Wham! star has been behind bars since last week (14Sep10) when he was jailed for possession of cannabis and driving under the influence of drugs following a car crash in north London in July (10).
But despite Michael's recent troubles, Kemp has defended the singer, insisting the star is a good man and a "wonderful" friend.
He tells Britain's Daybreak show, "I have to say, he is like one of my best friends and he is the most wonderful man that I know, absolutely without a word of a lie he is fantastic. And if you're watching today (George), I hope you're well."
And Kemp insists Michael is coping with his jail time, adding, "What can you say, you know, what can you say? I wouldn't like to talk for him... I heard he's doing okay. He's doing as well as you can expect."

Awww - Martin, thank you. Your a gentleman!

Faith

Nothing Looks The Same In The Light

Some of the kids out today

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me

A friend told me earlier in the year that it was dangerous for me to be so open and honest on the Internet. But I guess I've been lucky as the circle of people I've mixed with have been like minded people who are compassionate and kind. I've made lovely friends and have grown closer to some who I had previously known only briefly. But I guess there is always one bad apple in every batch!
I'm fully aware that not everyone agrees with my opinions regarding George Michael, hell I'd never expect them too. Life would be pretty boring if we all liked, believed in the same things. But I do try to keep my opinions to myself unless provoked, or you "choose" to enter my world or maybe come here to read this. The message left for me yesterday, (and some other George Michael fans) were not just hurtful, they were sickening and vile. They showed how ridiculously cruel some people can be. If the person, calling himself Mr Parrot is really a friend/acquaintance of mine then he/she will know how those remarks would have affected me. And if he didn't then I'll tell him, they bought me to tears, made me feel physically sick and kept me from getting much sleep last night. Try as I do to forget them they play on my mind and revolt me beyond belief.
To think that a human being could think such things is worrying to me, I wonder if the right person was put behind bars this week? With those comments...I think not! Mr Parrot, whoever you are, you are no friend of mine as I doubt any of my friends could think such sickening thoughts let alone choose to post them! If we are acquaintances then I would prefer to never be in your company again. If it was suppose to be a joke....it was sickening beyond belief. I hope you sleep well at night because the thoughts that you have planted firmly in my head will surely keep me awake at night for sometime yet!

I'm sorry but it's worth the risk of offending the minority....

Rot In Hell Areshole!

Flawless (Go To The City)

Flawless...Absolutely Flawless

"I think you know that you are more than just
Some fucked up piece of arse "

*****

George Michael – The Lack Of Empathy Is Sickening
Reading the various comments from members of the public, on the topic of George Michael’s jail sentence on various newspaper web-sites, is not a pleasant experience. I recommend George, Kenny and their families and friends refrain from reading. The comments say nothing about George, but rather, everything about what a bunch of animals some people really are. They clearly lack the ability to empathize with, or show any compassion to, people who are reported as being in distress.
Of course, their opinions aren’t important – they’re scum. It’s just there seems so many of them. Why they aren’t rounded up and put in an incinerator I’m not sure. There can’t be much doubt the world would be better off without most of ‘em…
Update:
Before the comments come in – if you’re thinking of expressing an opinion that says that George doesn’t deserve compassion right now, let me say this. You know nothing about jail, or the human condition, if you think he won’t be having a very difficult time for at least these first few days. Any decent human being (of which George is most certainly one) deserves compassion in the face of such hardship – whether they brought it on themselves or not. What I’ve seen in the papers is retarded scum not displaying any such characteristics. For example, mocking George because of reports that he cried in his cell.
I think Erwin James, a convicted murderer who served 20 years in jail, and turned journalist on his release in 2004, said it well in the Guardian today. Here’s the quote ....
Take it from me: Pentonville is one of London’s less salubrious prisons. Waking up in this grimy, ancient prison – famed as the main holding jail for the city’s drunks, drug abusers and down-and-outs – will be George Michael’s all-time low…
He will need to be strong, but early indications are that his strength has deserted him: a man who shared a cell with him at the courthouse described how he sat “crying his eyes out”. No shame in that. He won’t be the first grown man to burst into tears at the sound of cell door banging shut – nor the last. But once he has got over his initial terror, he might recognise this as an opportunity.
That’s compassion. That’s empathy. And it’s what George Michael deserves right now from every civilized man and woman.

Safe

Happy Birthday
Beautiful Kenny

I hope you are able to have a nice day

relax and stay safe

"Soon you will be together...until then so cold the night!"

I'll never forget meeting you, your a kind, sweet and gracious man who willingly gave us your precious time. My heart goes out to you now. Stay Safe Mr Goss.

I Want Your Sex!

Well now I know why there has been so much tension between Mr Mikey and Louis, it's all been sexual tension! Just to keep me on my toes, Asha has come in season today, and Tali is also due in season in the next couple of weeks..Great!!!

Heartbeat

" Today I'll do my crying, tomorrow I'll be stronger!" I said...

Er...no, still crying...cried all morning

and didn't sleep last night.

Crazy, crazy situation, my emotions are out of control. I wish I didn't feel like this, I sometimes wish I didn't care, but I do and as hard as I try I can't help it. I really can't believe that this has hurt, angered and annoyed me so much. I don't believe he has not been given a suspended sentence to help him recover and continue with the rehab he so desperately needs. For him to take that first step and ask for help must have been so hard, such a proud independent man.

"But like all good men who swim too well,
It takes all that i have just to cry for help"

A catalogue of events over the last two weeks has really knocked me for six, yesterday has really been the final nail.... Just when I reckon I'm all cried out something else sets me off...It's no secret,I love George Michael unconditionally and I love the George Michael community, I have some fantastic friends and have had the best times through loving George. He's given me so much over the years, kept me sane and safe, and at one time I'm convinced he helped me get my life back together. I'm So pleased most of the George Michael community stand together and are there for each other, as well as for George right now.

Stay safe, clean and well dear Georgios.

Heaven Help Me...

...though maybe Belief is the death of intelligence

George Michael appeared at court for sentencing and was jailed on Tuesday September the 14th 2010:-
Michael sighed as District Judge John Perkins sentenced him.
He was told he would serve four weeks in prison and spend the remainder on licence.
Michael was also banned from driving for five years and was ordered to pay a £1,250 fine, £100 costs and a £15 victim surcharge.

*****

District Judge John Perkins told the singer he had taken a "dangerous and unpredictable mix" of prescription drugs and marijuana.
"It does not appear that you took proper steps to deal with what is clearly an addiction to cannabis," the judge said. "That's a mistake which puts you and, on this occasion, the public at risk."
Michael's lawyer, Mukul Chawla, said the singer felt "profound shame and horror" at his actions.
"It is no exaggeration to describe him as a very kind, considerate and loyal man, constantly concerned for the plight of others," Chawla said.
"The prospect he could have put anyone else in danger is an appalling prospect to him."
"The judge said he was sending Michael to jail "with regret," and had taken into account his guilty plea and the fact that after the crash he had checked into a clinic to seek help for anxiety, depression and insomnia.
But he said Michael's previous conviction made a prison sentence inevitable.
Michael sighed as sentence was passed. His long-term partner Kenny Goss at one point buried his head in his hands."

*****

Well I guess I'm gonna find out who my real friends are now.
Those who gloat, laugh and make jokes.....They will be the first to show their true colours and show a lack of understanding of my feeling. Yeah, like I said last month, I guess I'll be the butt of the joke again. I can hear them now, and I guess I know who to expect it from. They are not my true friends, I know they'll know better and care for my feelings! This is not rose tinted glasses, for once I've taken them off, momentarily anyway. I honestly don't think he deserves this, a fine- Yes, Loss of License-yes, community services - yes. Rehab (which he had already started anyway)-yes....but not this! The justice system is a joke in my opinion. This will not help a man who has already taken a huge step to go to rehab, and this will only hamper things. This judge has given out a sentence that could have been suspended instead while forcing him to go for more rehab etc etc. These short sentences are frouned upon a lawyer has said on the news today due to not having any purpose in helping people in this situation back to health, infact he also said George will be even closer to drugs inside!!!!!!!!
For god sake the man has admitted that he has a problem, he needs help not punishment
Today I'll do my crying, tomorrow I'll be stronger!

Something To Save

Do you know that you really hurt me? Did you think for one minute that your words would cut like a knife? I've known you for years, your not usually a tactless person, on the contrary I've found you to be most sensitive and kind. So why? Why would you want to hurt me? Why would you say such things about one of my babies? Especially when that baby meant so much to you too. I'm gutted, so hurt and so disappointed that you thought that way. You didn't get it right, I did. You just showed a total lack of knowledge and understanding, followed by a total lack of compassion towards your friend.
You know I put my heart and soul into these litters, that's why in 20 years of owning the breed I've only had 7 litters. I try and give them all I've got, I work hard to try and help them become balanced individuals, so they can become acceptable members of society. Sadly in the care of new owners it can go wrong....but I expected better than this from you.
I'll move on, I have too. But sadly this time I won't forget.....

John and Elvis

Well Mikey and Kai anyway (or Al as he was here)

3 weeks old

Look at us now,

2 year old Mikey and Kai

Everything She Wants

Pretty as a Princess

Maya On Holiday in Scotland

Fantastic

Thank you so so much to John and Janet for bringing Kai bach to visit us this week-end. So fantastic to see you all and see our little pup has grown up into a handsome happy young man. Shame John allowed him to lead sweet little Asha astray!!!!!!! Great to see you and please don't leave it so long next time....

Asha, Kai and Tali

Asha, Finlay, Tali and Kai

Kai splashing around with Mummy Tali and Sister Asha

Wait for me.....Asha's off

You Have Been Loved

Just a "Storm" in a tea cup
8/7/00-7/9/09

Those we love don't go away
They walk beside us every day

Remembrance is a golden chain
That links us till we meet again

Heartbeat

Asha did well at NWA Champ show yesterday being 4th in PGB.

Thanks to Claire for handling her.

...And the boys...No Comment!!!

You Have Been Loved

R.I.P at the Bridge Little Nat

Happy times - 2003,

Me with Jake, Louis and Nat

I was absolutely gutted to be told at a show this week-end that Nat had died following a stroke a couple of months ago. He would have been just seven years old. I have no details and I'm sad to not have heard from the owner and was completely taken aback at how I was told.
I don't mean to sound heartless, I know the owner is broken hearted to have lost him so young. I know he was adored and her pain is greater than mine tenfold, but I don't think people sometimes realise how much the pups mean to me. It was also hard for me to be told at a show and I really would have appreciated her letting me know herself. I really hope I'm not being unreasonable!
At one point I was thinking of keeping him. Sean Kinsella had him as second pick of the litter to Arko As you all know, Louis stole my heart but I was very very fond of this baby....

Do You Really Want To Know?

We had a great day at Anglesey Canine Society today

3 dogs entered, 3 firsts,

Mikey 1st in GSD P.G, Asha 1st in GSD Open

with Asha taking Best Of Breed and Group 2.

Thanks to judges Kim Lathaen and Ann Hardy.

Asha Standing for Group judge Ann Hardy
Going Group 2 to the Beardie

Thanks to Paula for handling Asha today

Kai with Me

"Waiting" and about to Win Open Dog Stakes Class

...£10 in my pocket!!!

Happy

Well Done Finlay on Passing

The Kennel Club's

Good Citizen Dog Scheme Bronze Award.